like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
