During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
