my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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