He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I think your dad took our porno
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize