Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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