What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
