just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
