so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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