the day after is always just damage control
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
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