What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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