I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
