Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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