I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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