There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
