I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
