im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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