she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
