Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Randomize
