i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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