I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
false alarm, still single
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