I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
