I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
babies were throwing up all over the place
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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