Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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