I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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