Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
