eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
