ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
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was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
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There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize