So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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