If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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