My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
