One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
