OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
