what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
