She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
