so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
