We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
