Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
