I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
