Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
