I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I think people are normalizing furries
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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