This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
