im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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