I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
