Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
