he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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