The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
