I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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