Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
