Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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