Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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