i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
