I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize