it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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