If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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