He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
