You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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