Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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