i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
