duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
