Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
