We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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