cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
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