I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
