Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
