Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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