My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
