so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
