god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize