u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
