Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
